sick days.

i woke up this morning and felt like i had been hit by a truck. then the driver put the truck in reverse and ran me over again. 

all the flu symptoms hit me at once and I knew upon opening my eyes that this was going to be one of those sick days that i absolutely despise. i am the opposite of someone that can do nothing - even when im sick. 

I got out of bed and tried to go about my normal routine. after brushing my teeth i knew there was no way i was going to make it to gym sesh number one of the day. 

it is 3pm as i am writing this and i still have not truly accepted the idea that i am not going to work out at all today. 

surely i am not the only one out there that feels like an absolute rock or pound of lard when i cant make it to the gym, even for one day. 

to be honest i have gone to the gym twice a day every single day for months. so i must profess that today has been quite difficult. i feel like im not me. 

this may sound extremely dramatic and well to be frank, it is. but my intention behind writing about my sick day with zero exercise is that it has made me realize just how much exercise and fitness defines who i am. 

i am struggling to decide if that is necessarily a bad or good thing. i see perks and detriments to both to be honest. 

it begs the question in my mind of is this really all that i am. someone who defines themself as a gym rat and feeling that accomplishment. truly without working out today i really have not felt all that accomplished. yes i have worked (remotely) and got around to making some homemade sourdough tortillas but with no work out to check off i just feel worthless. 

now that is why i have come to the conclusion that i need to work on that “feeling of accomplishment” or what “defines” me each day. 

although this has been a pretty routine “sick day” it has really caused me to dive a little deeper into my own life. 

i wonder how much i am actually putting health and exercise on a pedestal. am i putting it above God even. makes me think i might be if my sense of accomplishment each day revolves around my own personal health gains. what if i judged a day on the amount of lives i touched or the amount of souls i was able to share the gospel with. 

truth is our bodies are just bodies and will die one day. we cant take muscle or endurance with us to heaven. we can only take our souls. 

i will say this is much easier said then done because the amount of effort and dedication that i put into exercise is quite substantial and i truly do enjoy being that kind of person. i believe there are huge upsides to doing such a thing - from physical to mental. the list goes on and on. 

but, should that define me. or should my Heavenly Father define me. should my Faith in God define me. I think the answer to that question is staring me in the face. 

ive been writing for all of 20 minutes and i already have a different sense of accomplishment for the day. i now feel like this “sick day” might just be a little reset God threw down on me. He might just be telling me to get my priorities in check - to stop idolizing the gym and to start putting him first. 

i, like many of you, have heard this since we were kids. put God first. its easy to say and easy to hear but when i think more about it what exactly does that mean to do every day. spend more time in the word? pray more? share Gods hope and promise to others more? 

i think it could be all of those things and even more. i believe the important thing is to consult God about the direction he wants you to go in. we all have gifts that he has handpicked for us. we all have things that we are good at. traits that we can utilize maybe better than someone next to us. 

it is important to understand that in order for these characteristics and strong suits to be used correctly - we must consult God. 

at this point i think i need to spend more time praying, in His word, and allowing my heart to be open for the Lord to guide me. 

maybe my dedication and self discipline i have for health and wellness can be used for more than just myself. maybe i can use these traits to further the Kingdom of God. 

at first glance this seems like a quite abstract idea but i truly believe the more i open up to God and show him my willingness and trust - he will guide me in his direction. not my own. 

to sum it up. this “sick day” may just be the start of something new. it may just be a moment God wanted me to experience. there will always be “sick days” or even “sick moments” where things kinda suck or something is not as you want it. but always remember that we serve a God who is all knowing and all powerful. if we trust him in these days and moments he will take what we think as sucky and turn it into good.